I love visiting graves, but my mom... not so much.

When I told my mom that before we headed out to Palm Springs to see Frank Sinatra's house, we were visiting his grave, I got a look. Then a comment: "that's so creepy, why go to a cemetery? It's depressing." (or some such turn of phrase)

My reply: it's not about being sad, it's about honoring the lives of those buried there.

A cemetery is fascinating.

• You get inspired to dig deeper into the history of a place, the people, the events they experienced.
• You learn history- and of course, it's honoring people who lived lives that may not be contemplated or celebrated regularly.

You may have seen how excited I got to find out about First Lady Leticia Tyler's family cemetery. (Click here to open in a new tab if you're interested.)

Only minutes into our visit to the Palm Springs Cemetery District's Desert Memorial Park in Cathedral City, where I picked up a map of interments, my mom lit up with interest. She was shocked there was a kiosk to grab said map and dove right into the moment, and into some history.

I hope this post highlighting two graves, one from the 18th century and one from the 20th, will ignite your curiosity to dig deeper.

Necessary disclaimer: As a blogger, I use affiliate links sometimes! I may receive commission from purchases I share; it does not change your price but sometimes you might get a discount.

View inside Desert Memorial Park, Cathedral City, California

Resting place and rich story number 1: Daniel Parke Custis

Who was Daniel Parke Custis?

You may know the woman he married, Martha. Full name: Martha Dandridge Custis Washington. After the death of her first love, husband Daniel, Martha set on a course to become our first lady, if unintentionally.

But that's all a story for another day. Or is it?

Colonial Williamsburg's Martha Washington, the talented historian Katharine Pittman, informed me about the Custis headstone at Bruton Parish Church- so I had to find it.

I had to see the monument to the man Martha loved so deeply and was so determined to marry that she jumped on a horse and rode from her family home in New Kent about 30 miles to Williamsburg. At age 17.

When she arrived, she wandered the then-famous Custis gardens with Daniel's father and ultimately convinced him through a "prudent speech" to approve their marriage.

But let's talk about Daniel:

• 15 years older than Martha, she was his neighbor in New Kent County for years, and she was his first success at marriage (his father was successful in preventing them!).
• As the male heir to John Parke Custis, he was one of the wealthiest men in Virginia.
• While not involved in politics, he was known as a successful planter as well as a vestryman of St. Peter's Parish.
• He died in his 40's after a fast and severe illness.
• Daniel and Martha had 4 children, 2 survived Daniel. Patsy sadly passed while still a teenager and Jack after the battle at Yorktown, leaving his children to be raised by family. Two were raised by the Washingtons.

If your historical curiosity is ignited, dig deeper.

• Learn more about Daniel here.
• Learn more about St. Peter's Parish and it's rich history here.
• If you head to the Williamsburg area, visit Bruton Parish Church.

Daniel Parke Custis' tombstone.

Resting place and rich story number 2: Jilly Rizzo

Who was Jilly Rizzo?

A couple things stood out to me at the final resting place of Frank Sinatra in Cathedral City:

• There were no headstones... at least not vertically placed. All the markers were laid flush with the ground to give a view of the landscape that was serene and flat.
• Each grave had a name, dates, and very limited writing.

As we walked along, my mom suddenly said: "Here's Jilly Rizzo!" My GenX self was clueless but she had the memories to share.

We were near Frank and his family, and in the heart of Hollywood's desert retreat, so I deduced there was a connection.

Facts about Jilly Rizzo:

• Jilly Rizzo was a restauranteur and owner of Jilly's in New York City, a hangout for Sinatra and his contemporaries. (Jilly's became the site of Dean Martin's Dino's later according to IDMB!)
• In 1990, he was convicted as playing a part in a fraud scam. Sinatra spoke on his behalf and Rizzo ultimately ended up with community service.
• From Laugh-In to the Pick-up Artist, Jilly made appearances in TV and film over the years. Sometimes showing up as himself.
• Rizzo was born on May 6th and died on May 6th. His life ended when a drunk driver crashed into his car on his 74th birthday, setting it on fire.

Now that I've gotten to know Jilly Rizzo, it's difficult to imagine the Sinatra story spanning from East Coast to West Coast without picturing him at Frank's side.

Jilly Rizzo was clearly a part of the mid-century desert-boom scene as well as the history surrounding New York City's "celebrity" scene from the 1930s-60s.

If your historical curiosity is ignited, dig deeper.

• Click here to see a list of film and TV appearances by Jilly Rizzo on IDMB. His connections to Sinatra and others made him well-known "locally" in Hollywood and, of course, the desert.
• Read about the close relationship with Sinatra as well as the tragic crash that took Rizzo's life in Rancho Mirage, California here.
• Click here to jump onto Amazon Music and hear his roast of Frank Sinatra.

Gravesite of Jilly Rizzo, Cathedral City, California.

Closing words from history.

Today, a few of George Washington's words in regards to his role in the management of the Custis estate.

Click here to read the letter in full, with citations. It includes his thoughts on expenses as well as specific instructions for action.

From George Washington to Robert Cary & Company, 20 September 1759

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There is a huge practical disclaimer to the content on this blog, which is my way of sharing my excitement and basically journaling online.

1) I am not a historian nor an expert. I will let you know I’m relaying the information as I understand and interpret it. The employees of Colonial Williamsburg base their presentations, work, and responses on historical documents and mainly primary sources.

2) I will update for accuracy as history is constant learning. If you have a question about accuracy, please ask me! I will get the answer from the best source I can find.

3) Photo credit to me, Daphne Reznik, for all photos in this post, unless otherwise credited! All photos are personal photos taken in public access locations or with specific permission.