The Timeless Effort: Families Striving to Make Each Day Better

A question about childhood memories.

I was musing away on history in my head. About getting older. About the gray hairs I saw in the mirror this morning and then I asked my sister a question (in my head, not actually). "Do you ever think about how easy mom and dad made life for us when we were kids?"

Life wasn't always easy for them- but we had no idea at the time.

If you've read my "swipe of wisdom" and lipstick post paying homage to lessons from my mom, you may have a sense of it. In brief:

• My sister and I are first-generation American-born. Our parents are both immigrated Jews, born in 1940s Europe.
• My mom worked (breadwinner!) while my dad finished college to become the main breadwinner throughout their marriage. Mom's high school experience was foundational to their success IMO as the 1960s turned into the 1970s - where me and my sister entered the scene.
• My dad's American experience began before he emigrated from Israel. As a teenager, he traveled to New York on his own, crossing an ocean and - without knowing English - excelled in high school. Living in Rochester with an aunt and uncle (who had no children of their own), his aunt not speaking Hebrew, he acclimated- and, as mentioned, excelled.
• Dad returned to Israel to serve in the military before returning to the United States for college, to become a citizen and - meet, fall in love with, and marry mom.

Was this not the American dream of the 1960s and 70s? A time when technology was advancing. When astronauts landed on the moon. When cars got fast.

When....

But was it so different from now? From the early years of our United States?

Let's look back.

Me in mirror image on my laptop.

Necessary disclaimer: As a blogger, I use affiliate links sometimes! I may receive commission from purchases I share; it does not change your price but sometimes you might get a discount.

History rhymes.

Just last week, Artemis II made an historic trip around the moon, bringing us all together watching with baited breath as the moon landing may have been viewed in 1969.

Also as I write this, my dad just celebrated his 86th birthday and Mother's Day is on the horizon. Maybe that's what's bringing all of the nostalgic memories of my childhood to the surface. (that and a billion memes and reels on social media targeting GenX?)

I recently heard the phrase "history doesn't repeat itself, it rhymes." I've heard it multiple times actually with no solid citation- if you know where it originated, please share!

This simple phrase is heavy. It holds so much context- from political to personal.

In terms of what's been on my mind as I started writing this, the personal.

• Parents have always wanted (with rare exception) what's best for their child[ren].
• Parents have always attempted to make daily life "good." (again, I'll concede rare exception)
• So have grand-parents.

Me with my mom and her parents circa 1971

Excerpts from the past.

I had fun with this. Truly - I was getting lost in letters and diary entries. But forcing myself to stop, and prevent this blog post from becoming a novel, I'll leave it to two examples of history rhyming.

Of making daily life "better" for children.

Stop worrying your grandmother.

You may know that George Washington and his wife Martha Dandridge Custis Washington raised two of Martha's four grandchildren following the death of her son, John Parke Custis.

One of the two, George Washington Parke Custis, received a letter in 1798 from Mount Vernon I LOVED.

Context: Custis is away from home in the big city and, while meant to be studying, may be distracted. And is clearly not sending any updates to the Washingtons at Mount Vernon.

Highlights (and paraphrasing) from Washington himself to his namesake:

• stop worrying your grandmother: you haven't written us yourself and you know how she gets
• don't waste your time with girls who won't be long-term
• it's time to study, not give in to fleeting relationships
• we need to hear what you're up to from you, not second-hand ("groundless" gossip?)

Does this sound familiar?

" It is now near four weeks since any person of this family has heard from you, ...although you were requested to write to some one in it, once a fortnight, knowing (as you must do) how apt your Grandmama is to suspect that you are sick, or some accident has happened to you, when you omit this?"

I loved the whole thing, but how it ended was perfection:

"I wish to remain, so far as your own conduct will let me be, Your sincere friend, and Affectionate Advisor

Go: Washington"

Of course, Washington must be remembered for the "big" moments, the "major" events... but also, he was a grandfather.

To read Washington's words in full, with notes and citations, click here to open the Founders Archives transcription in a new tab.

Washington statue, Virginia State Capitol

She's only nine years old.

How much money should be spent on a nine-year-old's look? According to one letter from Martha Washington, keep it frugal. But make sure she's on trend.

I've referenced the letter from Martha Dandridge Custis Washington to one Mrs. Shelbury regarding "Goods" for her daughter. To me, this is classic Martha as I've come to understand her. And as such, I have to go back and read it once in awhile!

But was it her sentiment, or husband George's? In my estimation, likely both. According to the source of the transcription, Founder's Archives, it may have been a team effort.

Context: Mrs. Shelbury, a milliner in London, is putting together clothing and accessories for Martha Parke Custis, Martha's daughter from her first marriage being raised by the Washingtons.

The bottom line: As the letter is sent in 1764, "Miss Custis" is nine years old- make sure the selections make sense - and don't overspend.

"Such things as Misses of her age usually wear here I have sent for; but if you can get those which may be more genteel and proper for her, I shall have no objections to it, provided it is done with frugality, for as She is only nine year’s old a superfluity, or expence in dress woud be altogether unnecessary..."

I know there is at least one receipt showing a purchase for Miss Custis from Margaret Hunter's shop in Colonial Williamsburg- maybe I'll ask about it next time I visit (it's one of the 89 original buildings!).

Click here to open the letter on Founder's Archives in a new tab.

Millinery in Colonial Williamsburg

CTAs.

The stories of families who lived our shared American history ring out in Colonial Williamsburg as well as on your doorstep.

If you visit Colonial Williamsburg and the region:

1) book a tour with me and let me know you're interested in family life- not just the Washingtons... but from the enslaved and free blacks to tradespeople and even Lord Dunmore's kids -- click here

2) book a call to discuss your trip to Virginia and purchasing a curated itinerary sharing experiences and sites focused on family life -- click here

If you want to explore family relationships and daily life on your doorstep:

1) visit a local-to-you historical society- click here for tips

2) use this link to download ExploreHere app and search out the people who lived in your community, businesses, and specific events related to daily life

And of course, ask questions and listen- have conversations with your family and those around you who can piece together the past. Grab conversations with the elderly before they, and their memories, move on.

Soak the present in before it becomes a memory.

My mom with her mother and brother, late 1940s, Europe[?].

Closing words from history.

More words evoking musings about parents and children from the past. Source: The White House Historical Association- specifically the diary of Elizabeth L.C. Dixon, as transcribed.

Elizabeth L.C. Dixon was the wife of a Congressman in 1845. Her life in Washington D.C. during her husband James' tenure included everything from visits to the White House to birthday celebrations and play dates for her children. As well as hopes for her family.

Click here to open my cited document in a new tab and read more about Mrs. Dixon of Hartford, Connecticut and her family as they entered Washington D.C. life during President Polk's administration.

Note: I've broken one long paragraph up into three for easier reading (I know many of you are using mobile and the screen is small!).

"Journal written during a

Residence in Washington during the 29th Congress.

Commencing with the first of December 1845.

Dedicated to my daughters

Bessie and Clementine

by their Mother

Elizabeth L. C. Dixon

....

Saturday, October 25, 1845

The next morning at 6, dear James left me to go home to his Mother’s funeral. I was miserable enough till his return on Tuesday; Annie came over on Monday to do shopping & I went with her for I felt it necessary to divert my mind as I cried incessantly alone. Mother & Father came over & spent a day.

James attended his Mother’s funeral on Sunday, said she looked so peaceful & sweet he could not believe that the spirit had fled. Dear old lady she was so dignified & high born, so kind & affectionate!

My children will never know either of their grandmothers unless as I hope in heaven.

....

Are you enjoying the blog? Tip me using my online tip jar-- keep me both caffeinated and writing!

There is a huge practical disclaimer to the content on this blog, which is my way of sharing my excitement and basically journaling online.

1) I am not a historian nor an expert. I will let you know I’m relaying the information as I understand and interpret it. The employees of Colonial Williamsburg base their presentations, work, and responses on historical documents and mainly primary sources.

2) I will update for accuracy as history is constant learning. If you have a question about accuracy, please ask me! I will get the answer from the best source I can find.

3) Photo credit to me, Daphne Reznik, for all photos in this post, unless otherwise credited! All photos are personal photos taken in public access locations or with specific permission. Most of the Chicago photos, excepting the one my dad is in, were taken by him!